Wednesday

Teen Machine



Everybody gets a shot on critique my blog. This one I'll leave up to you to critique. It's written by a 16 year old with some heavy things to say. I guess not all teens are turning their brains to mush with the Game Cube.

38 comments:

eccentric recluse said...

The Tome is a site that mixes liberal doses of humor, social commentary, an occasional recipe, (I am suspicious of these...), and the good old internet staple, flame wars. It is a place to be seen, something analogous to an online CBGB's or Max's Kansas City.

The crowd there is for the most part, engaging and willing to trade comments or barbs as the situation calls for it.

It's content is good, it is to freelance blogging what '60 Minutes' is to network news.

Kønig Hasemörder said...

Woosie has a powerful voice and the courage to go were very few of his pears venture. He is ingenious in his technique of "keapin' it hot" day after day. His obsession with actual projectiles has obviously curbed him from the curse of the game cube.

All hail Woosie, our virtual communist killin' kid.

sammyray said...

Woozie is possibly psychotic. However, he may be normal and I view him that way because I am psychotic.

That having been said, Wooz - when he's taking his meds - has a unique voice, humorous yet inclusive. He tackles interesting, mature subjects for a sixteen year old.

He mkes me sick with jealousy.

Kshitij L said...

Woozie is drunk a lot.

When he's not, he talks about stupid stuff like politics.

When he is, he talks about interesting stuff like circumcision, babies with boobs and how a banana can aid you in masturbation.

You get the point, right?

KD13 said...

All hail the Chief!

This guy writes so well I wanted him to start an army of his own just so I could join.

He refused on very weak grounds. Bet he regrets it some day!

Doctorboogaloo said...

I have known of Woozie's tireless work for freedom and justice for... um, just over three months now. The Tome is where it's at. (Hell, the kid devoted an entire week to Snakes on a Plane. THAT is vision. THAT is focus. THAT is cool.)
Go, Woozie. (You can leave my kickback at the Lunch Counter.)

Gadfly said...

The only thing keeping Woozie from ruling the world with an iron fist is his tender years. The day will come when we will all bow to his omnipotence and count ourselves fortunate that he spares our lives.

Woozie is a god

Woozie said...

More comrades, more!

Serena said...

Dispite how often you pesky kids do the exact opposite of what I say, I IMPLORE YOU, ///DO NOT CHECK OUT THIS BLOG\\\

Woozie's Tome of Communism is the kind of place where children's ears are poisoned with all sorts of dangerous propaganda and brainwashing into evil ways of thinking is only the initiation!!

If there is absolutely one website out there that you should avoid above all others, it is Woozie's Tomb of Communism. Beware. You have been warned.

the rube said...

i've heard hugo chavez is a regular reader of yours. if it's good enough for hugo it's good enough for me.

i understand hugo is in the dumps over guillen and ordonez trailing 3 games to one.

maybe you can give the tigers a little guidance.

drëâmè® said...

Woozie's blog is just plain amazing. I shall never forget his eagerness to share with us the recipe for the amazing salty chocolate balls. The fact that they were really salty chocolate muffins did not deter me from wanting some of those delicious pieces of heaven.

Or at least... I can assume that they're delicious pieces of heaven.

Raspootin said...

Tome of Communism successfully crosses age, race and sex barriers.

The writing is excellent and the subject matter creative.

These are high compliments coming from one who served the Russian Royal Family!

Gadfly said...

Woozie showed me how to "NeGROW" and I am the better for it.

mika said...

i vote Woozie!

may his reign be long and fruitful!

Woozie said...

Don't stop now, the fascists are gaining ground! Continue the fight!

Omar said...

Bruinez avec l'huile et légèrement la poussière d'olive vierge supplémentaire avec le romarin. Appréciez.

Woozie said...

BabelFish must be a tool made by the same fascists we are trying to crush:

"Bruinez with the oil and slightly the dust of virgin olive additional with rosemary. Appreciate."

Omar said...

Take it up with Babble Fish, Nazi-boy.

Gadfly said...

When he comes of age, I want to have Woozie's love child. But alas, I have no womb.

(bleah! That one even grossed ME out)

Omar said...

LOL

drëâmè® said...

It's okay. I have a womb.

Woozie said...

Love Children? Wombs? Excellent idea comrade, we can smash the fascist bastards by lobbing waves of infants at them, causing them to use up all their ammunition on the babies! I'll meet you at your place in Undisclosed Location, Canada!

Omar said...

Even better then lobbing infants at the enemy, why not plant your seed in all available and willing female comrades? This way you would raise a "Grande Armée of the Willing" to battle the evil fascists.

They will write books of the Great Woozie Soldier-Seed.

Woozie said...

Lord, bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. With AIDS.

Thomas, you can't possibly expect me to read all that.

Gadfly said...

Wooze: I think Thomas J. was trying to help out in case word count is factored in for the win.

Kønig Hasemörder said...

word

Unknown said...

I have developed Repetitive Strain Injury from obsessive mouse clicking to check in at the Tome.

Woozie is exceptionally smart and wise for his years and also rather funny.. if he were a bit older, I'd offer my womb also.

Woozies (Cyber only) Fleusy.

Gadfly said...

A cyber floozy is not a bad thing to have.

But yeah, as erudite as Wooze can be -- it's easy to forget that he's jailbait age ;-)

Anonymous said...

Woozie hits it hard, and he ain't afraid of lard.

Omar said...

What the fuck that mean? sounds like little woozie like to slam fat backside.

Anonymous said...

I fucked Woozie once. His dick was short, but it was thin.

Anonymous said...

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen

Gadfly said...

Damn, if only Zo and Redneck would come by, the gang would all be here.

Woozie said...

I fucked Woozie once.

Must've been a really quick, really bad fuck because I don't recall one second of it.

Butchie said...

He seems like a nice boy.

Anonymous said...

The Birmingham Niggers were founded in 1898 in Birmingham by Nathan Bedford Forrest, who also founded the Ku Klux Klan, the name was selected to "harken back to the spirit of the hard-working, fun-loving negro". The team has been all white since its inception to minor league play. Forrest spared no expense in hiring the players for his team; he once quipped "Some teams have 'cracker jack' players, we've just got 'crackers!'"

The Niggers joined the NCAA (Niggers, Coons & African-Americans) League but of course, nobody would play them. The only exception was in the mid 1960s when the Birmingham Firehoses cited interest in playing against the team; the Firehoses won, but were disbanded a few years later.

Of late there have been moves by the owners to instead claim that the team is actually named after Guy Gibson's (of Dam Busters fame) pet dog, though they have thus far been unsuccessful (possibly as Americans don't realise that anyone else was in World War II).

The niggers are the greatest team ever in minor league history.

elvis anonymous said...

Woozie is a world-class chef, as well as a better-than-average blogger, his recipes are known and venerated by members of his household. This blog rocks, it has humor, sex, booze, commentary, sex, food, sex and a clientele that would make an escort service green with envy.

Kønig Hasemörder said...

when a jew is at the bottom of the well a jew is but a man.